Firaaq - The Separation & Anxiety

"Firaaq": Urdu term meaning "Separation", "Distance", "Anxiety" (according to context).

Watched Nandita Das' movie, Firaaq, today (Das is both, the scriptwriter and the director of the film).

I came out of the movie hall feeling shocked, stunned and sorrowful but most importantly Ashamed - Ashamed to be a Hindu in view of the atrocities committed by my co-religionists and for probably the first time I thought of giving up the passive, non-ritualistic form of Hinduism I practice and becoming a proclaimed atheist.

The movie captures and portrays beautifully the insecurities, fears, anxiety, the feeling of alienation in their own land and the resultant angst in the Muslim community during communal riots. It is a strong and honest portrayal of how low we can stoop in the name of religion when none has even seen the "God" or "Ram" in whose name they kill or the "Shiva" whose Trishul they believe they weild - a portrayal so direct that we, as moderate Indians cannot turn our backs on. It forces one to take cognisance of the horror and the mindless violence brought against some for no reason better than their religion...and associated perceptions - nothing more than mere perceptions of past injustices by the other community when those who are alleged to have committed those faults are no longer alive...

While this movie has used the 2002 Gujarat riots as its backdrop, it may be safe to say the emotions portrayed and the atrocities wrought by the majority Hindus is very much the same in almost all communal riots that our country has been cursed by since the painful separation at birth in 1947.

It paints a very sorry picture indeed of a nation that proclaims itself as "India Shining", and a State whose tagline is "Vibrant Gujarat". Far from shining and vibrant, the respective entities come across looking more like a fascist State of old - better placed probably in the 1930s than in the new millenium as an aspiring World Power and its "developed" Industrial Hub, respectively.

Let's hope this country awakens into the heaven of freedom that Rabindranath Tagore prayed for...

Silver

Ah....the enchanting beauty of a moonlit night shimmering white in a cloak of snow...it's an almost heavenly experience that none should miss.

The words of Walter de la Mare do more justice to this thought than any that I may put down. Hence the poem below - dedicated to the beauty of nature and, more importantly, the beauty of those silent moments when you are with none but yourself and can cast aside all worries and concerns as you soak in the beauty of night 'n' snow...


Silver
(Walter de la Mare)

Slowly, silently, now the moon
Walks the night in her silver shoon;


This way, and that, she peers, and sees
Silver fruit upon silver trees;


One by one the casements catch
Her beams beneath the silvery thatch;


Couched in his kennel, like a log,
With paws of silver sleeps the dog;


From their shadowy cote the white breasts peep
Of doves in silver-feathered sleep;


A harvest mouse goes scampering by,
With silver claws and a silver eye;


And moveless fish in the water gleam,
By silver reeds in a silver stream.

We Have No Time To Stand And Stare

Here's a poem that should help us reflect upon the manner in which we are often tempted lead our lives. How many of us would today have the time (or indeed, the inclination) to stare into the limitless expanse of blue even as the sea merges to the skies? Are we not in a way squandering away the biggest blessing of 'em all - our life and the opportunity it provides to experience pleasures in the simplest of happenings?

Leisure

What is this life if, full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

No time to stand beneath the boughs
And stare as long as sheep or cows.

No time to see, when woods we pass,
Where squirrels hide their nuts in grass.

No time to see, in broad daylight,
Streams full of stars, like skies at night.

No time to turn at Beauty's glance,
And watch her feet, how they can dance.

No time to wait till her mouth can
Enrich that smile her eyes began

A poor life this, if full of care,
We have no time to stand and stare.

William Henry Davies

KoHam (Who Am I?)

"Hum ko apna saaya tak aksar be-zaar mila....
...Gham se ab ghabrana kaisa, gham sau baar mila..."

That's how I feel each time I have a brush with the Armed Forces these days...the most recent being less than 24 hours ago.

The Armed Forces that were my family, the cantonments that were my home, the Army uniforms, Insignias, Corps, Divisions, Formations and Mottos (e.g. Sarve Santu Niramaya; Veerta Hee Maan; Karm Hee Dharm; Sarvada Satark; Teevra Chaukas; Sarvatra Izzat-O-Iqbal and innumerable others), that were an integral part of my identity... they are all slipping away even as I write these words.

With every passing moment, the rift between me (nothing more than a humble "civilian") and the wonderful, cosmopolitan organisation that the Indian Armed Forces and their world is growing into a widening gorge that I fear I shall never be able to leap across.

I am, it appears, doomed to be viewed by those who, till recently were my own, (and from whom I derived my strongest and most important identity), as a suspicious character who seems to know slightly more about the Indian military establishment than they expect of a "civilian".

When members of the Division that my Mother once served in try to be evasive about who they are, how things are at the Div HQ and why the tank transporters are standing in Delhi, it does say a thing or two about their vision of me - a mere "civilian" (who should ideally be) far removed from the world of the Olive Green and the Battle Fatigues...

When an officer leading a military convoy on a National Highway is bewildered, stunned (and probably a tad worried), by the fact that I know not only his rank, but also his corp, his ribbons and his formation sign (and where they are based), he too is conveying the same message that the soldier in Delhi sent out loud and clear - "stay away; you seem to know too much about us and we don't know who you are...;don't know if you're truly someone who's lived his childhood and youth in Cantts or a Pakistani spy posing as an innocent civilian...; you're too damn suspicious - seem to know too much; please stay away - we cannot divulge anything to you...not even whether your statement about the formation sign is correct..."

Of no significance is the fact that my father spent over three decades as an active member of the Army, serving in the AMC in positions as varied as Medical Officer to HoD - Neurology in places as diverse as Sri Ganganagar and Udhampur; it does not matter that my mother had also donned the OG uniform not once but for two terms of Short Service Commission; it matters not that I never thought myself to be a Bihari but an Indian belonging to the Armed Forces fraternity...that was my erroneous reading of my identity they say...

And this, when I never regarded the land of my ancestors as my own - when I was always (and shall always remain to be), more an army lad than a Bihari. Reminds me of what Jawaharlal Nehru once said of himself: "I have become a queer mixture of the East and the West, out of place everywhere, at home nowhere." I find myself in a similar quandary - and while I know not how much it hurt Nehru, it does hurt me beyond what words can convey...

O' how it hurts to be rendered homeless and without a family when entry to the Cantonments that I've grown up in and that hold some of my most priceless memories is restricted to me; when I am not allowed to walk into Command Hospital, Calcutta which I associate with the birth of my beloved brother; when the rank and file of the Armed Forces suddenly seem to have turned their backs on this member who was till recently one of them...

Going ahead, I can only see the rift widening as I follow my path in life and become progressively more "civilian" in the eyes of those who today don the OG Uniform and occupy the bunkers, offices, and hospitals of the Indian Army... May I have the strength to witness this and learn to live with the pains of my (erstwhile?) family forsaking me...

An Ode To A Friend

My Friend MM

I have a friend whom I call MM;
And while MM may be no Eminem,
No less of a gem, than Eminem, is my friend MM,
For he's amongst, the best of 'em, in ERM.

The Death of Childhood....

I came across an interesting piece in the paper recently, that many of you may find very relevant:

"When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names for hell."

(Brian W. Aldiss)

While at first glance it may appear to be rather negative, the message in a way urges us to keep the child in us alive for as long as possible, lest we turn to "corpses", which is a very regular happening in today's world of racing against deadlines, endeavouring to meet sky-high (sometimes unreal) expectations and the mad race to be right at the top of the heap, even if that means sacrificing peace, tranquility, joy, family and friends at the altar of "success". The worst bit is that often "success" is a concept ill-defined and incorrectly perceived by most...

My take on this is that today's generation (at least in India) is losing its life trying to make a living.

Thought most of the people may be able to relate to all this. Let's just hope none of us turns to "corpses", the child within is preserved and helps us see the beauty of life and society in all its vibrant shades rather than as a "politer name for hell".

I look forth to the views of those who may come across this bit on the Web.

Cheers!

Pranav

Reminisces from the Diary - Egypt Trip June 2006 - The Days That Followed The First

Bahrain

16 June 2006

Dear all,

Hope each of you is in fine fettle and are enjoying life to the hilt. Forgive me for not writing in earlier but I've not had much time over the past few days. Between finishing the job I was sent to Egypt for and exploring the place, I have been left with absolutely no time.

The fun and joy that has been hewn into my experiences in Egypt over the past few days (between 12 and 14 June) cannot be described amply enough in words… it has almost been a heavenly experience – a peek into another era, another world, another culture and people (that still appear to be somewhat similar to our own). Below I have put down an account of what I experienced while savouring the sites and sounds of this ancient seat of civilisation and learning.

I went to watch the Sound and Light show at the Sphinx on 12 June and found it extremely interesting. The wonderful audio-visual effects created there succeeded to quite an extent in bringing back to life the civilisation and history that lies behind each of the three Great Pyramids (of Cheops, Chephran and Mykerinus) as well as that of the Sphinx, which is actually a statue of himself that Chephran (son of King Cheops), had got constructed and installed at the base of his (Chephran's) pyramid.

The statue was apparently known by the Egyptian term for "lion" for many centuries before undergoing many changes of name with each wave of invasion, before the Greeks finally gave it the name it now bears – that of the "Sphinx". We were also told that the face of the Sphinx originally bore a nice and pleasant smile – to greet the rising sun each day – before some invaders defaced it using artillery as they disapproved of the smile on the face and thought it to be pagan.

I also got some other beautiful nuggets of information, including things like the fact that each of the three big pyramids is constructed of a different stone – Cheops' pyramid is made of limestone; Chephran's is of Alabaster while Mykerinus' pyramid is constructed of granite. Also, the structure of the pyramids reportedly has its origins in the shape that the rays of sunlight bursting through the clouds above create, in the air and then on land. It seems this was because the ancient Egyptians, being worshippers of the sun, thought a structure like this would help the soul travel to a place of bright with eternal sunshine more easily.

Another awe-inspiring thing is the sheer size of the structures and the science, architecture and labour that has gone into constructing these – the Great Pyramid of Cheops reportedly has about 3 million rocks (each weighing an average of 2.5 tons), has a height of 455 feet with the edges at an angle of 52^o to the ground and it took 100,000 labourers working on it for 30 years for the structure to be completed.

On the evening of the 13^th my hosts took me for a cruise on the Nile in a large 5 Star Cruising Restaurant by the name of the 'Nile Maxim' that had four decks. There were five of us – four of the site management and myself.

I was hoping to catch the sunset on the Nile but missed it by about half an hour, sitting within the restaurant, enjoying the Egyptian band and the various performances, I did not notice the skies turning crimson at dusk as the numerous tall buildings on the banks of the Nile obstructed the rays and did not allow the waters to shimmer with the red glow I had hoped to see. Instead, I had to do with the city lights shimmering on the Nile. I went out thrice on the deck to check the position of the sun. While in the first two instances it was still bright the third time I went it was but a small reddish-orange speck on the horizon, fast disappearing behind the towers that dot the Cairo skyline. Anyway, I stayed on the deck for sometime after that seeing the greenish-blue waters taking on an ever-darker hue with each passing moment until they were a glistening black colour. During this time I also saw and photographed some of the more imposing structures on the banks of the Nile such as the Tower of Cairo, The Egyptian Bank building and a small tower reported to be an ancient temple to the Sun God.

Inside the restaurant we spent time watching performances by various troupes of artistes, each exhibiting an unique form of Egyptian dancing interspersed with some belly-dancers. We had a ringside view of all the performances, as the seat reserved for us was bang in front of the band dais and dancing area. I enjoyed most of the dances which showed a great amount of skill and precision in each movement of the body much like our own classical dances but found the belly-dancers to be completely UGH! They were awful and just didn't fit into the ambience created in the place by the others.

The one performance I enjoyed and admired the most was that of the 'Tonura' (Egyptian term meaning 'Spin Man'). It was a man in colourful attire dancing and performing in sync with the tunes of being put out by the band while spinning (revolving) all the while. In all he spun continuously for about 14 minutes and did not lose his balance for a moment, during or after the performance. I was amazed at how well he had managed to train his senses not to react to the motion of the cochlear fluid – I cannot spin for more than 3 minutes without losing balance or feeling dizzy later. During these 14 minutes he regularly pulled things out of his hat (literally) and the rest of his clothing, discarding a layer of clothing every few minutes. He took out 3 hats (not exactly a hat really – more like the flattish kind of stuff made of cane that we see in the Indian NE), from what had initially seemed to be one hat and proceeded to perform with all three hats spinning at various speeds and angles while also spinning himself. Then he started to disrobe and we found that he had in 5 layers of colourful attire, which he exhibited one by one and also used in his performance, e.g. the underside of one of his skirts was in the colours of the Egyptian flag, which he appeared to pull out from thin air, gaining loud applause from all around. And remember all the while he was spinning. That was amazing!!!

I tried to get photographs of him but my camera could only capture the (somewhat blurred) body in one instance; the rest of the photos were just a blur of colours. After his dance he went over to various tables to get photographs of himself clicked with the various guests and I too could get a photo with the Tonura along with two of my hosts.

On the morning of 14 June, I revisited the pyramids with one of the management staff, Ayman, accompanying me. This time I could get real close to the pyramids and got a lot of good, memorable photographs, including one of myself atop a camel with a Arab headdress with all nine pyramids (3 large and 6 small) in the background. I even bought an Arab headdress as a souvenir. Shall put these photos on the Kodak Gallery website and send you the URL for the site once I get home.

Our next stop was the Grand Egyptian Museum in downtown Cairo. It is a truly awesome collection of artifacts from a different era and more awesome is the research that has gone into ascertaining the history and context behind each piece on exhibit there. The place has more than 2000 items on exhibits from various parts of Egypt and from various periods of its history and I am told there are almost as many (if not more), items that are presently stored in the basement pending construction of a larger museum to house and exhibit each of these.

The manager of the site I audited was absolutely right in stating that one could spend more than 3 days in studying each of the artifacts in detail while even 3 hours would suffice to get a good feel of the museum and its most important exhibits. This is what I did. Based on information from a small tour book, I had earmarked some of the more important exhibits and proceeded to see them all one by one. These included the artifacts related to King Tuntakhamen, the Royal Mummies, Mummies of some animals thought to have been divine incarnations as well as some mummies that X-Rays have shown to be empty (or in some cases contain what appears to be either some clothing or just one single organ)!

A whole section of the museum has been dedicated to King Tuntakhamen, who reportedly died at the age of 20. Two of his three coffins (adorned by extremely ordinate carvings and paintings) – the innermost of pure gold and the second one of wood plated with gold; his golden funerary mask; his throne; life size statues of mythological characters (again wood plated with gold and beautifully adorned) stationed outside his tomb as sentries to prevent the entry of evil spirits; pictures and paintings of King Tuntakhamen with the beautiful Queen Nephrititi; and a hoard of other things were there on exhibit.

Within the Mummy Room, I saw the many wonderfully preserved Mummies of Kings, including that of the famous King Ramses II (after whom Cairo's Ramses Square is named) and other royals of ancient Egypt. The bodies are so well preserved that wounds suffered in battle, manicured nails, hairs, broken teeth, shrivelled skin (in those who died at advanced ages) are all intact and can be viewed even today after so many centuries. Truly an awesome feat! I wonder if modern medicine and science can preserve bodies so well…

Also saw many mummified animals, including a cat, dog, fox, geese, mare, cow and an 8 m long crocodile. All of these animals had been mummified either because they were viewed as divine incarnations during their lifetime or because (as in the case of the mare), they were the favourite animals of some king. I was told that all these animal mummies were also accorded the same respect and care as the dead royals.

What is described above is but a minute fraction of what is on exhibit at the Grand Egyptian Museum. I actually saw much more than what is described above and many more things I could not see.

I'm aware that my words above cannot portray too vividly all that I have I seen, heard, thought and felt during the visit to Egypt but hopefully they would have been able to give you some idea and feel of the country and my trip here.

All in all it's been a wonderful experience for me. Shall talk at length about all this and send you the photos once I am home. (I'm presently in a Bahrain hotel as my flight yesterday from Cairo was delayed by 5 hours. So I missed the connecting flight to Delhi. Shall be leaving for the airport in about an hour and shall be in India in the wee hours of the morning tomorrow.)

Love & Regards,

Pranav